AS MAINE GOES...

Maine Governor John Baldacci signed a same-sex marriage bill Wednesday, making Maine the fifth state to legalize gay marriage, following Massachusetts, Vermont, Connecticut and Iowa. New Hampshire, New York and New Jersey may soon follow and the California Supreme Court may rule next month to overturn California's Proposition 8 which rescinded gay marriage which was legal for a short time there before last November's election.

Gee, these are tough times for homophobic folks who believe gay marriage is a threat to heterosexual marriage. Maybe America should set aside a large swathe of land in a desolate area of the west and form the 51st state of Homophobia. Homophobes could settle there assured that their 50% divorce rate will not escalate to 60% or 70% by virtue of having a bunch of gay marrieds living amongst them.

In the interests of fairness, the state of Homophobia would have two Senators, but just to be safe, the Homophobia state constitution would require that these seats always be filled by one man and one woman. You just never know. The two Homophobia Senators getting together on state business may just happen to do what comes naturally and fall in love. And if they be both men or both women? Well, let's not even go there.

Also published in Glen Ellyn News, May 13, 2009
Also published in Daily Herald, May 15, 2009