A PLEDGE TO AMERICA

We pledge allegiance to the 2 percent richest people in America.

We pledge to extend their windfall tax cuts from 2001 and 2003 indefinitely, which will add 3.7 trillion dollars to the national debt over ten years because they are our base.

We pledge to repeal the watered down version of national health care passed this year because the richest 2 percent simply don't need it.

We pledge to continue our criminal wars in the Middle East because they are our greatest source of job creation; jobs that cannot be outsourced, and jobs that have constant turnover from, well, death and injury.

We pledge to sell hundreds of billions of dollars of weaponry around the world because America must maintain its number one rank as worldwide weapons proliferator.

We pledge to oppose all efforts to expand the economic safety net to the tens of millions of lazy, shiftless folks who don't vote and don't matter.

We pledge to continue tossing out red meat hate issues like opposition to gay rights, demonization of the undocumented, fear and loathing of Muslims, imaginary socialists or anyone else we can come up with to distract the needy from opposing our Pledge.

We pledge to only run charismatic but otherwise uninformed, unqualified and heartless candidates who will keep the circus of political theater thriving.

In closing, this is One Nation, under Our God, with liberty and justice for all people of means.

Also published in Chicago Sun Times, September 29, 2010