Kass' Obama "selfie" column reads like a Seinfeld episode

If Jerry Seinfeld were to do a "Seinfeld" episode about Trib columnist John Kass, he'd title it "The Solemnity Nazi" (TSN). This comes to mind after reading Kass' "Self-made man in spotlight at each and every occasion" in Wednesday's Trib. It would feature our intrepid wordsmith solemnly pouring over photos and sound bites of our 44th Prez to ensure he has not violated the TSN's threshold for proper solemnity in his performance as Commander in Chief. Obama's Chicago origins are grounds for Kass making up stuff about the Obama "bowing" to the "lords of the Chicago machine" and equating it to "shaking hands" and "bowing" to the "executioner of Cuba" Raul Castro. Oh my God, the President did a real estate deal with the felon Tony Rezko. Call out the Solemnity Police! Then TSN takes umbrage with Obama not including a photo of the subject of his tweets such as Nelson Mandela and Rosa Parks, but instead uses only HIS photo. Horrors!

In TSN's bizarre world Obama is simply bowing his way through his Presidency instead of achieving a list of accomplishments that Kass has never supported and never will. He's too busy minding the President's manners. Alas, Seinfeld exited stage left years ago so this imagined episode will never occur. I've got it! John Kass could do a guest host spot on Joan River's fabulously funny "Fashion Police". Joan could retitle it in Kass' honor "Solemnity Police". Joan and John could flash photos of the President's imagined trashy manners while trying mightily to make up funny one liners. That would be one challenge even mighty mouth Rivers would flub. Try as they might, trashing the President's manners is neither not funny nor relevant. And spending a thousand words carrying water for the "hate Obama" crowd is an utter waste of good ink and paper.