Hell patrolled by Fearsome Phyllis

One version of Hell, possibly worse than eternal fire, would consist of endless bombardment of commentary from self loathing woman Phyllis Schlafly. The nonagenarian ultra conservative gadfly, famously associated with opposing the Equal Rights Amendment, preferring instead keeping her sex barefoot and pregnant, weighed in on the issue of campus sexual assault. Her fix: reduce the number of women in college. Too much temptation for the dwindling minority of oversexed males attending class with more opportunities than their youthful libidos can comprehend. Schlafly, highly educated in the era of male domination, laments that male percentage of college students has dropped from 70% in her day to under 50% today. Schlafly wants quotas on women enrollees or end of loans for tuition. She claims if we force women to work throughout college to pay the fare, they won't have time to attend those lascivious fraternity parties. 
 

While I don't know which elevator ride I'm taking on Judgment Day, If I get on the wrong one I'll start praying it won't be presided over by Fearsome Phyllis.