A Mulligan to the Mullahs
There are no do-overs for traitorous letters sent to foreign leaders to derail delicate negotiations designed to prevent the next Middle East war. But let's pretend the 47 GOP senators, signatories to that traitorous letter, were given a Mulligan, the golf term whereby after making a terrible shot, the owner yells "Mulligan," to take the shot over. Here's how the senators' Mulligan might unfold:
Dear Iranian Mullahs:
Regarding that letter of March 9 you received, please be advised it never happened. We thought it was a joke cooked up by that goofy looking newbie senator Tom Cotton (R-AR). We just found out he's not playing with a full deck, given that his surname was shortened from Cottonforbrains.
The fact is we would never knowingly send a such an obvious act of treason to you or any other country. Sure we want to blast you to smithereens for remaining an existential threat to the country that really pays our salary: Israel. Collectively, we get millions of dollars from the Israel Lobby here in the good ol' USA to do their bidding and alas, that means you have to go. But we normally like to work in secret, behind the curtain of senatorial privilege and shadowy governmental machinations. So please disregard that letter which was due to the stress of being unable to destroy the presidency of man who doesn't love America, according to the sage of New York, Rudy Giuliani. Even though you're a signatory to the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty and have never attacked another country (unlike we who do all the time), we simply can't let you even think about a nuclear weapon. Just being years away from even one, would totally disrupt the balance of power with Israel which only has about 150 to defend itself. Besides, destroying Iran is in our DNA. Sixty-two years ago we got together with the Brits to overthrow your Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddegh. Operation Boot, as it was known, sure gave the boot to that democratically Mosaddegh, who had the audacity to try and control his own oil reserves without consulting their real controllers, British Petroleum. OK, bye for now. But remember, tell the world this was simply all a big joke to see if the press and that guy who hates America were paying attention.
Burn after reading,
47 of the worst legislators money can buy
Dear Iranian Mullahs:
Regarding that letter of March 9 you received, please be advised it never happened. We thought it was a joke cooked up by that goofy looking newbie senator Tom Cotton (R-AR). We just found out he's not playing with a full deck, given that his surname was shortened from Cottonforbrains.
The fact is we would never knowingly send a such an obvious act of treason to you or any other country. Sure we want to blast you to smithereens for remaining an existential threat to the country that really pays our salary: Israel. Collectively, we get millions of dollars from the Israel Lobby here in the good ol' USA to do their bidding and alas, that means you have to go. But we normally like to work in secret, behind the curtain of senatorial privilege and shadowy governmental machinations. So please disregard that letter which was due to the stress of being unable to destroy the presidency of man who doesn't love America, according to the sage of New York, Rudy Giuliani. Even though you're a signatory to the Nuclear Non Proliferation Treaty and have never attacked another country (unlike we who do all the time), we simply can't let you even think about a nuclear weapon. Just being years away from even one, would totally disrupt the balance of power with Israel which only has about 150 to defend itself. Besides, destroying Iran is in our DNA. Sixty-two years ago we got together with the Brits to overthrow your Prime Minister Mohammad Mosaddegh. Operation Boot, as it was known, sure gave the boot to that democratically Mosaddegh, who had the audacity to try and control his own oil reserves without consulting their real controllers, British Petroleum. OK, bye for now. But remember, tell the world this was simply all a big joke to see if the press and that guy who hates America were paying attention.
Burn after reading,
47 of the worst legislators money can buy
posted by Walt Zlotow at 6:31 PM
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