The President’s Brain Is Missing

Donald Trump governed his entire 4 years without use of a brain. That’s a first in 58 presidential administrations going back to 1789… quite an accomplishment. We had an inkling his brain was missing when he claimed a landslide victory tho he lost the national vote by 2,900,000. He inexplicitly turned his sparse inauguration crowd into the largest ever. But we really knew his cranium was devoid of gray matter when he pondered injecting disinfectant to kill the covid virus. When he termed thousands of infections and deaths as 15 going down to 1, we knew the synapses in his head were firing blanks.

But as we suffered horribly with the president’s missing brain for four years, we celebrated the disappearance of his bloated, orange topped body starting election night. The grotesque sight of a brainless body leading Nuremberg style rallies has mercifully disappeared. Behind by 5,900,000 votes, the brainless body of Trump has retreated down into his White House bunker. He’s even eschewed his planned superspreader Thanksgiving dinner to flail about wildly, sans brain, in an hallucinatory effort to avoid becoming a private personage in a world that requires a functioning brain to survive.

The president’s brain is missing, bad. The president’s body is missing, good.